Spiritual Feeding

Wow, I never imagined or dreamed to get such a response to my first post.  617 page views in 24 hours...What?! First, thank you for the support to those who voiced it.  It's hard to step out there and put your feelings and heartfelt thoughts on display for the world to see.

I have an amazingly christian friend that is part of another church in town give me a "critics" stand point in a beautiful way and it made me want to clarify something I said in my first post.  Not because I want to revert from anything that I said but just to make sure I am clear what I meant by my statements.  Here are a few of them I am talking about:

"I am sad because I have never found a place that "feed" me like home."

"You can pretend to have a relationship with Christ and not go to church anywhere, but with out someone FEEDING your soul with the words of God, you mostly likely are just sitting at home praying to God to fix something, help you with something and Thanking him because, I Mean,...You can not ask for something without thanking him first, right? ;)  But you most likely are not having a true relationship with him."

"Our eyes need to be open that this Barn...is feeding people."

Apparently I was hungry when I wrote this post...  ;)

I never meant to suggest that me not being feed was any one's fault but my own.  You may not have taken the statements that way, but I wanted to be clear.

If you are not hungry or are not ready to eat, the food just lay there and will rot.  People at the same table as you may be full as a tick (there is a country expression for ya!), and developing and growing but you sit there starving. If you are not prepared to be feed, the "food" will spoil on your plate. (Sermons and scriptures will fall on deaf ears)

13 For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right. 14 Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong.  Hebrews 5:13-14 NLT

You know those babies that want nothing to eat but the bottle...even though you as a Mom (or Dad) want to push solid food on them.  Babies can be stubborn and will refuse anything but the bottle.  I think that even at the wonderful age of 30 something, I was still an infant in my walk.  And although I will now classify myself as a toddler, I have come to the point in my life where I am ready to move on from the "milk" I was taking in.  Ready to gain that "Freshman 15". 

That has to be a decision you make on your own.  If you are keeping other aspects in your life from moving you on to that next level of your spiritual walk, that is not at the fault of the teachers you have listened to before, they are NOT failing at their job...you are lagging behind in your salvation. You need to pray for your heart to be READY to move on.  Ready to be open to the Word.  Ready to eat a meal bigger than any Thanksgiving meal you have ever seen!  If you do this, most likely you could hear the exact same message or lesson that you got nothing out of and it could this time change your life.

There are a lot of other things that are going on in my life or have gone on over the past few years that contributed to my "milk phase".  I let little things get in the way of seeing past a situation to see the good in it.  Looking back now, I know that God was using those things to prepare my heart for this stage I am in my life now.  

God, I thank you that you are all knowing.  That even when I dont have a clue why something happens in my life you know exactly what you are doing. When I have no idea why my fingers are typing out a ridiculously long blog post, you know that there is one person that needs to hear it.  Please help me to continue to eat solid food and not rely on milk.  You are the bread of life and I am glad I eat carbs! Thank you for all that you are doing and continuing to do for me.  Love you Love you Love~Amen

I grew up Baptist to the core...I mean CORE! Church every Sunday...Morning & Night...and Wednesday I went straight there from school activities (of course right after getting my nails done every other week).  I NEVER missed a church camp in the summer from the time I was able to go! (I think that is in the 4th grade).  I sang occasionally on Sunday mornings and even could do sign language to every praise song you could think of!  But once I went to college, things changed in my life.

I am not sure if it was moving from my "home church" to a different town or college...a lot was going on at that time.  I am Proud and sad to say at the same time that I still belong to the church I grew up in. Baylor Baptist is still where my "membership" is held.  I am proud of that, because that is were my faith started...where it was rooted and started to grow.  I am sad because I have never found a place that "feed" me like home.  I graduated high school and left Baylor in June of 1999.  WHOA...that is a long time to not have a "home base".

Because of that void, my walk with Christ has been lack luster.  It hasn't been something in my everyday life and I may dare to say weeks of my life.  Never did I loose my faith...NEVER, but I just was not "walking with Christ" as I should be.

We had gone to another church in town for several years, but I use the term "going to church" lightly.  We would go occasionally...A few times I would get on a role and go multiple Sunday's in a row! I used my kids as an excuse mostly.  They did not want to go to the nursery or children's church and keeping them with me during "big church" was such a distraction, so why go?? So we stayed home.

You can pretend to have a relationship with Christ and not go to church anywhere, but with out someone FEEDING your soul with the words of God, you mostly likely are just sitting at home praying to God to fix something, help you with something and Thanking him because, I Mean,...You can not ask for something without thanking him first, right? ;)  But you most likely are not having a true relationship with him.

Last Fall (2012), a new church was started in our SMALL town.  Talk about going against the norm!  In a town of 1200, new things are considered WEIRD! Why on earth would you change the way things have been done for decades??? That's just a crazy thought!   and at that...the church was started in a BARN! GASP!

What many people did not understand, and I think still do not understand, is that even though it is something "new"...the church is a plant or network church of an established church in Lubbock...Experience Life.

I have to admit, even though the church "planters" were some of my dearest friends, I was hesitant about going.  I wanted to go....I felt like that is where i needed to be, but  I knew what people in town were saying..I knew what they were thinking...and I was not bold enough in Christ to try it out.  Of course, I did not pray about it...remember, I was not walking with Christ.

Then one Sunday...I went.    And you know what, I LOVED it! After a few Sunday's I started "seeing" that christian girl I once knew.  That one that wore her "True Love Waits" ring with pride...the one that had disappeared so long ago.  It was not long before I was up there singing again...helping to lead worship like I grew up doing so many years ago.

But you know what, the talk of the town is just now starting to calm down some.  I have been very disappointed in a few "brothers & sisters" in Christ that have been so closed minded and down right competitive.  People that had never once asked me why I was not in church, started asking me to "come back"... Harsh words have been said on Facebook (which sometimes can be a root of evil in itself) by "pillars" and even though they are quickly deleted, they have been seen.

"If you claim to be religious but don't control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless" James 1:26

Words can hurt.  But every time words have been said, comments have been made, God shows up and reaffirms that we are doing something right.  God has shown himself in so many ways and the contentment I have with my life, I know that for me, I am doing the right thing.

I started a Beth Moore study (James Mercy Triumphs) last week, and this passage stuck out to me ...and made me want to get this all off my chest...

"God only knows how many effective ministries have disintegrated into irrelevance over addiction to comparison.  We talk as those who believe God is omnipotent and omnipresent, but we often act as if He can only work through one person, one method, or one kind of ministry at a time."

It's okay to have different ministries, different churches...as long as we are all working towards the same goal!  Read this...straight from God's word:

Galatians 2:8: For the Same god who worked thru peter as the apostle to the jews also worked through me as the apostle to the gentiles. (NLT)

OR

 Galatians 8 9 Recognizing that my calling had been given by God, James, Peter, and John - the pillars of the church - shook hands with me and Barnabas, assigning us to a ministry to the non-Jews, while they continued to be responsible for reaching out to the Jews. (the Message)

When will we as Christians or for that matter churches, realize that this isn't a competition, this isn't a race to the finish line and who ever has the most team players, wins!  God is Omnipresent, he is where ever two or more people gather in his name, even if that is in a BARN!  Our eyes need to be open that this Barn...is feeding people.  People that have not been in church for a VERY long time, if ever.  Personally, my family...all four of us...have not missed a Sunday if we were in town.  No more excuses from me.   

Our church name is ALIVE and you know what, for the first time since 1999...I am Alive!

Dear Heavenly Father, I praise and thank you for the work that you are doing in my life...in my families life and in our friends lives.  God, I thank you for Alive.  I thank you for Experience Life, welcoming our little barn into their services each week.  Without ELife, there would not be an Alive Church as it stands today. Lord, I ask you to soften the hearts of those who are hardened by the "new", please let them see that when there are cars at the building, there are people there praising you and not there to hurt or take away from any of your other ministries.  Lord we gather because we LOVE you and for no other reason, please help us to not disintegrated into irrelevance over the addiction to comparison.  Help us to continue to grow and reach those that want to know and love you more.  Love you Love you Love you...Amen.